- i thought this summer would feel different but it's proving to be a different type of challenge for me. i thought the down time would be a welcome vacation & full of fun ... but it's almost as much work as school. different work, harder even.
- i wish personal growth came with a fucking to do list or a manual so i could track how far i have come or measure how ok i am doing.
- i'm trying to hold on to every single moment that makes me feel alive or full, sunsets at the beach, my niece & nephew laughing or holding my hand, the feeling after finishing a spin class, driving with all the windows down & the music really loud, being with my sister.
- i'm also taking mental notes about what doesn't make me feel good, things that i need to let go of & working on being brave enough to make those changes to remove the bad stuff from my life. one day at a time, it's complex & change is too.
- i lost my drive to craft & i refuse to give myself a hard time about it or force myself into it. it's ok to take a step back and remember WHY i make & start again whenever i feel like it.
- i'm working on being patient with myself & just breathing, trying to remind myself how strong i am and that it's ok.
- i'm missing my camera but allowing myself the same creative freedom to love something so deeply but take a break from any sort of creative pressure it holds. photography will always be at the heart of me in such an emotional way that when i am going through change it will change with me when i am ready to utilize its expression. right now i just want to be & photography doesn't heal me, i heal me.
on February 5th i bought myself a plant & ... the little dude is still alive. he sits on my desk looking cute & green & reminds me that with a little bit of water, light and love things grow. he's perfect for me right now; not too much to deal with plus he's that simple reminder for me every time i sit down at my desk. maybe i will give him his very own page in my scrapbook as a full photo insert? this layout documents the day i bought my little plant. i used a few of kelly's newest shop releases on this month's layout, the garden girl set & the kent alpha. i LOVE the way my tiny cactus stamped & the look the white ink gives on the photo with the "plant lady" text. i also snuck in a tiny succulent with kelly's planner set from a while back that was all about gardening & the weather. the photos are from one of my favorite shops in temescal, Crimson. one day i hope that i am brave enough to fill my place with plants like the shop but for now one is just enough. cheers to growth little plant.
have you guys ever felt like one minute you're getting off work late saturday & you blink ... and the weekend is gone? yah, same. annnnnd yes... i work every saturday & go to school on the in between days. i remind myself, often that i signed up for this shit but when finals roll around i ask myself WHY? one more week to go & i can almost feel the summer ocean breeze. sort of. almost.
this month kelly released a weekend stamp set & it had me thinking about all the sundays. all of them. at the beach, at a concert, at a museum... basically anywhere i DON'T have to write a five page paper about. if you guys didn't get to snag this set the first time KELLY plans to restock it & i will have some new sneaks up on my instagram soon enough with all the goodies coming to the shop the 28th. hello new alpha stamp. but for now ... wish me luck on my finals and i am going to dream about waking up with an extra sunday... i know, too much to wish for & mostly i just hope for sleeping at all so lets start with that maybe?
at 12:32:00 AM
oh spring, i am supposed to be all sing-song-y & happy about flowers & shit but really ... this change has been one of the hardest yet. i won't blame it on daylight savings, i won't blame it on anything as a matter of fact. i will say that growth is rough and i am trying to focus on just the good, the things that make me feel like i am myself again. lost is an understatement but when i am making things i am my best self and that's where i want to be. making. creating and documenting life through any art form that feels right in that moment. so far that has looked a lot like scrapbooking, writing, and forever photographing it all. this month i wanted to push myself with a 30 day watercolor challenge & maybe i will share some of it some time but i didn't want that to be my main focus, i wanted it to be for me. sometimes making something is more fulfilling than sharing it & that's how i felt when i stamped this month for my KP projects. what i love the most about getting to work with Kelly's stamps every month is that it pushes me creatively to make & not just make but make with something that can inspire new designs within her own. i always like the creative challenge of : how can i make this me? it's like a weird puzzle of fitting what has already been made with my photos & manipulating it to feel the way i did or to match my style. this month, the projects i made are exactly that & the act of making the messes while trying new things saved me a bit.
at 9:51:00 PM
so much art. last month i visited two museums and wrote one art paper, i made 5 project life layouts and even managed to post a few things on both of my instagram accounts. all the art. being inspired, for me, has always come from big feelings or big surges in visual inspiration. this month had a lot to do with both. i have been writing a lot... more than i ever have i think... and that doesn't surprise me at all &&& because of school i was required to put myself in front of even more art than usual. i loved it. this layout was documenting one of those days from my solo trip to the asian art museum in sf. kelly's newest releases were perfect for my city days and i used a combination of her newest hero art's release with a bunch of sets from the shop items this month.
& well, you know ... i had to dedicate this coffee date to its own layout. the newest coffee stamp kelly designed is so cute i want it to travel with me to every new coffee shop i check out but instead i will settle for just using it on all the coffee photos. everyone knows i could drink 5 lattes a day but this is the next best thing & MUCH less in caloric intake... ok fine... i will just stamp coffee cups instead of drink them.... maybe that will work out. sigh*
with all of the shit i still have to get done for school i'm gonna need more coffee. 2 midterms down & two more to go. ... gotta study... but feel free to wish me luck or tell me your favorite museum/ coffee shop in the comments.
at 4:27:00 PM